Hey, welcome to the 'lack of confidence' zone
This website is meant to be my little place on the internet. I intend to put things here that I think are true, are interesting or have meaning in some way. But this is really fucking scary to me, even pseudonymously. In putting form to ideas there is a commitment that just thinking doesn't quite have.
Sooo, i want to make some clarifications and about how i go about doing these things
To hopefully give me the confidence to make mistakes and not be paralyzed into complete inaction i've made this disclaimer. While looking at anything on this site please keep in mind the following:
- I am not an expert in anything.
- I am somewhat of an idiot.
- I think I have good intentions.
- I'm trying.
Here's a little list of things i think are true.
Preemptive criticism
In a more negative state of mind, I'd call this whole caveating exercise as self-congratulatory. "Look at this dipshit, he thinks he needs to clarify that he's an idiot when it's obvious"
"and I'm uh, criticizing my initial reaction for being pretentious, which is... which is honestly it's a defense mechanism. I'm so worried that criticism will be levied against me that I levy it against myself before anyone else can. And I think that, 'Oh, if I'm self-aware about being a douchebag, it'll somehow make me less of a douchebag.' But it doesn't. Self-awareness does not absolve anybody of anything."
This exact overthinking loop can lead to a pretty destructive loop of self-doubt. I hope by putting this into text, i can overcome this impulse to question my intentions and the worthiness of my goals. This project is not here to make me look like a good person, this project is not here to stroke my ego.
In time, everything will be proven wrong or outdated. If you couldn't tell, i'm a little
Hey, i get this seems like a lot, like i'm just putting some pictures on the internet and that's about it, why all the hand wringing? Well I think because this is just how i think and understand the world. Does this reflect poorly on me? I think so, it's very self obsessed and posturing towards a sense of self that is
i think a little too much, self absorbed and
On mistakes and grammar
In my mind there are two kinds of mistakes that will be here. The first being that of the fundamental kind, of being wrong about the world. Please let me know about these.
The second are trivial mistakes, sometimes intentional . Sometimes i capitalise the 'i' in a sentence, Sometimes I don't. I think there is value in understanding how 'mistakes' are beatutiful intended or not. I think texting typos are beautiful, autocorrect misfirings are funny and . LANGUAGE IS FUN! Don't put it in a little grammatical box. I have related thoughts on editing
On loving things:
Ira glass quote